That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
