it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
