Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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