Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
