I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
