Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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