Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
