Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
