It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".