Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Randomize
Follow @tfln