on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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