Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My nipple is on Facebook.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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