He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
