No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
