all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize