I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
