So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
A+ Viking dick
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
