yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
