Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was like getting head from an anaconda
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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