god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
