I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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