he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize