In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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