She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
