I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
