chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
