I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
