I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize