9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
