She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
