I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
