it hurts more in the daytime
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize