Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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