i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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