Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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