what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I enjoy the company of your penis
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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