as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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