I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
