Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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