What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
