So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark