Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have aggressive nipples.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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