I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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