I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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