I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
