he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Green mimosas i think yes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
