so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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