I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize