He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
