No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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