Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
