I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
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He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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