i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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