bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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