sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your dad touched me again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
