remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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