he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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