He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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