At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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