suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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